Wednesday, June 06, 2007

reflections: junior year

I know everyone says it, but this year really has gone by fast.

I'm mostly grateful for that. This year was a frustrating, confusing one for me. I generally found my classes to be more interesting this year than last year (although that factor varied from time to time). I really enjoyed History class, which is significant, because that subject has always been one of my least favorites in the past. Some of you might ask, "Are there any subjects that AREN'T some of your least favorites?", and I must admit that you are asking a very good question. I enjoyed Yearbook on occasion, although toward the end of the year (and during other times throughout the year) it become slow and dull. There were issues with our staff, as it was drastically changed and downsized during the second semester. Mrs. Bernson and Saris had issues, and eventually Mrs. Bernson took over completely because of a lack of cooperation--Saris was discouraged, and she had finished her high school credits, so she left. Fortunately, this cutoff did not generally manifest itself in the yearbook itself; however, it greatly affected the chemistry in that class, and it was mostly negative. The fun times were a blast, but they were few.

As far as my leadership positions, this year was definitely a preparation and learning experience for me, as I learned many valuable lessons from Meg and how she dealt with other people in difficult situations. I can't help but feel a sense of anxiety about being president next year, as I'm sure is the case with all who have been elected to my position in the past. I'm worried that people are placing too much faith in me, and that I won't be able to live up to their hopes. I suppose my thinking is similar to most students at our school, but my ability to actually make changes is affected by many uncontrollable factors. I'm just an ordinary human being, like everyone at our school, with strengths and weaknesses. I was faced with doubt regarding my decision to run for office, and at one point had even determined that I would run for Chaplain instead. I'm happy with my decision, because I know that God has me in this position for a reason, and that he will fulfill his purpose through me somehow.

I want Student Council to be fun again. This year, especially toward the end, I had enormous trouble paying attention during Student Council meetings, or finding in myself the capacity to care about what was being discussed. Of course, I doubt there's any way for people to actually look forward to Student Council meetings--however, I don't think they have to be dreaded either. I'm happy to say, though, that after today's meeting, I was reassured that my work in that area is already cut out for me. The atmosphere was incredible--every member has a fantastic personality, as well as great ideas and insights, often regarding things that I wouldn't even have thought of. I can't thank God enough for blessing me with such a mature, intelligent group of leaders to work with, and I really mean that with the utmost sincerity. It was really a blast for me to see the kind of commitment and potential our next Student Council has to offer.

I've learned things about myself this year, and am always growing in that knowledge. I'm not going to pretend that next year will be the most fun, and that everything will finally fall into place and that it'll be my best year ever--but I can always hope that it will be better.

And finally, regarding this year's senior class: You are all extremely dear to me, and words cannot express my gratitude for the way you've accepted me and treated me as an equal, even during my unruly freshman days. I will miss you all profoundly, but am equally happy to see you heading off into your adult lives and embracing your futures. I'm sure we'll see each other often, but of course, it will never be the same as our high school days. I've never had such a caring, consistent group of friends as you guys, and I can honestly say that I would be a completely different person without your impact in my life. I can think of few times when it's been this hard to say goodbye, but life continues whether I'm comfortable with it or not. Therefore, I bid you all farewell, and may God bless you.